The Lessons in Michelle Obama's Hips

STOP IT!!!! I am deathly tired of everyone talking about this woman's hips in everything she wears. She knows they're there. She, and I, wake up every morning and look at them unadorned while deciding just how we feel about them that day. To all the flat butt women and skinny bone chasing men out there let her be.

Now I normally don't rant and rave about things like this but looking at her in this fabulous black hip hugging dress reminded me of trying on mermaid wedding dresses a couple of months ago. I just happen to be shaped like Mrs. Obama; small upper body, smallish waist, wide hips, and a high substantial backside. A figure that I thought would be banging in a mermaid dress. But alas, none of the dresses that could have fit my upper body made it past my 41 in. hips. It was a frustrating notion to realize that the designers and by extension the public thought I was supposed to be ashamed of and hide what my mama gave me.

Now I found the dream dress and it was fly as hell, but I wish the experience of trying on dresses wasn't so traumatic. Hips, thighs, booty and all those other womanly curves should be celebrated and displayed in anyway the owner desires without a chorus of haters. I hope Mrs. Obama keeps those fierce curves on display so that more women are comfortable accentuating them.

Photo credit: Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images

Constant Outing

As a two woman marriage, life can get pretty funny. I'm all the way out, like so far out of the closet I was never in it. On the other hand Ms. J used to be so far in the closet that it might not have had a door on it, although we are now meeting in the middle.

Our professional lives are so deeply contrasted that sometimes I have to remind myself to tone it down. Everyone at my job knows we got married and has seen the pictures. No one at her job knows I exist but the folks in HR who processed our benefit papers.

But somehow living in these parallel extremes works for us. It forces us to be present in the moment at exactly where we are. My job is so liberal it's a non-issue, it's a non-issue at hers because they don't know.

As much as the activist, or more likely 18 year old babydyke in me wants to think that it's wrong and she should be demonstrably proud that I am her wife. But adulthood takes over and makes me realize that our marriage is ours and how we express it is ours too. Not everyone needs to know.

But everyone I tell seems to giggle and squirm and ask to see pics. They get a hopeful gleam and sometimes their voices falter in surprise, but it's usually the good kind.

New Life, New Focus

There is nothing like married life. I don't think people understand just how different playing house is from marriage. Even though ours is not legally binding, standing before God and our loved ones to pledge our committment to each other has transformed our relationship. We've been dancing around each other, testing to see if that committment would be the end of our fun, freewheeling non-relationship. Seeing that we spent 5 months dating, 3 months in a relationship and 4 months engaged, it was kinda scary to realize this is it. Divorce is not an option.

I am no longer a bride, now I'm a wife. The fun begins.